I wanted to think of something witty to say but when you get off the phone with the person, you have admired for so long….your brain can’t form a sentence, let alone a witty one!
(Disclaimer: as I am writing this, tears are streaming down my face so excuse me if I don’t make sense)
On Monday, I was on facebook and Jillian posted this
“It's time for your podcast calls again! This time you can either call (888)950-6611 or email firstname.lastname@example.org with your questions. Please include your name and a callback number. You must be available on December 14th from 2-5pm PST.”
I have been struggling with some personal issues lately so I decided to send her an email, not thinking that it would actually get read…It went something like this:
“HI Jillian and Janice!!!!
Before I even start, I just want to tell you how much I admire you...whenever I meet a new client, I always tell them "Jillian is my idol so get ready for a tough workout!". Now onto my dilemma...
I used to weigh 220lbs and lost 80 lbs in 2006...since someone helped me reach my goals, I decided to do the same and I became a personal trainer. I am certified via ACE and I love what I do but lately I feel like a fake. I barely have anytime to workout myself and slowly I am putting the weight back on. I always feel judged when I am at the gym and then I come home and cry and end up binging...and this has been my cycle for the past couple of months. I don't want to quit my job because I truly want to help others but I don't know what to do. I just qualified to run the 2012 Marathon in NYC so I really need to get fit to complete this task...do you have tips? I know that the binging is hurting my weight loss but the willpower is just not how it used to be.
Thanks so much!!!!”
Well guess what? IT WAS READ! and Janice called me this afternoon! The minute I heard her voice, I already knew who it was and the tears started to stream down my face. She asked if Jillian could call me in the evening (HELL YEAH!). I cancelled my evening session (THANKS MICHELLE FOR UNDERSTANDING!) and sat by the phone like a teenage girl on a Saturday night! You guys must have heard my heart pounding from wherever you are ha
At 7:14 my phone rang…it was Janice again and she explained to me to try to keep the question short (hmmmm me not ramble….yeah not gonna happen! lol)…then I heard Jillian come on the line and yups people, I cried like a bubbling idiot! YOU guys KNOW ME and you know my obsession with this lady, and you even know that I always refer to her as JIL JIL but at this very moment it was JILLIAN Mother f’ing MICHAELS and she was talking to me!
I explained to her my situation and this lady is no nonsense…she didn’t let me bullshit my way through the call. I seriously felt like it was the Biggest Loser gym and she was going to break me down to build me up again.
WHY ARE YOU INSECURE? WHO MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE UNWORTHY? YOU ARE NOT THAT CHUBBY GIRL IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, YOU ARE THE GIRL WHO LOST 80 POUNDS IN 8 MONTHS, YOU ARE THE GIRL THAT DID A HALF MARATHON!
She told me to get to the root of my problems and start journaling because if not this cycle will continue…
We spoke for about 12 minutes and when we hung up, I just sobbed like a child because I knew she was right…
So now the soul searching begins…