Thursday, October 4, 2018

On The Mat With Mari: Being Completely Transparent...

Have you seen the commercial with the girl sitting in the doctor's office and he is asking her about her symptoms (in regards to endometriosis) and she is saying that she is okay but another version of herself is telling her to speak up and let him know what is really going on. Well that happened to me last week while I was sitting at my doctor's office.

I went to see my doctor for my yearly physical and while we were catching up, she began to go down her list of questions and she arrived to my favorite one "How has your depression been?" and I instinctively answered "everything is going well".

Sometimes when you wear the happy mask for so long, you forget to answer honestly because you don't want to bore people with your problems. I caught myself giving the knee jerk reply and after a long sigh, I answered honestly "I've been struggling lately". It's hard to pinpoint what has been "off" recently but I have seen myself withdrawing from the world and having several binge episodes as a coping mechanism.

I was on Zoloft about 10 years ago and didn't think that I would ever need it again. My ego almost made me turn it down when she asked if I wanted to go back on but I know that this is the best decision for me right now. I've been on it for about a week and ya'll my body is not happy about anxiety has been through the roof but I know that in about a month or so, I should be feeling back to normal.

CBD oil has been a life saver the last couple of days. Last week when I began the medication, I had to teach yoga and I felt horrible because I noticed that my body felt extremely agitated. I decided to use my CBD oil before heading out my house and its been extremely helpful. My classes have been so much better.

Side note, have you guys ever heard of a yawning orgasm? Well I discovered that those were a strange side effect of my medication...check out my vlog below to hear all about it as well as a mini clothing haul.

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Thursday, September 20, 2018

On The Mat With Mari: Sharing a Couple of My Fave TJ Pumpkin Products & Mini Rant...

I am all about sharing fun facts about me with you guys so let's keep the ball rolling.

When I was in junior high school for a short period of time, I was given the nick name "Mucha Maraca Mariette". Imagine being 13 years old and given a nickname based on the fact that you were well in doubt...obviously that stuck with me because here we are 25 years later and I am still talking about it.

The other day, I posted this photo on Instagram with the caption "I am not this body nor this soul. I am that which animates both. I am that which animates this entire universe"

Unfortunately my body was the focal point of this post...well my "girls" were and the caption was lost.

Here is another fun fact...I got a breast reduction when I was in my early 20's because of back pain and honestly mental health. Prior to that, I was always so ashamed of my breast and walked around hunchback to hide them. In my early teens, some of the other girls thought I was a slut...yup excess fat on my chest, automatically made me a slut. I was hit on by much MUCH older men and had to grow up faster than I should have.

So when I received DM's in regards to my cleavage or noticed that my female friends didn't double tap the photo, it took me right back to 7th grade.

I am not sure where I am going with this post but I just want to help erase the stigma of breast. I wish that women weren't judged because of them and I wish that moms could breast feed their children in public without feeling ashamed or receiving negative attention. They are just breast...and we are more than that.

Check out my vlog for even more of my rant, upper body workout, and some of my favorite Trader Joe's Pumpkin products! 

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Monday, September 10, 2018

On The Mat With Mari: Hitting An Accidental PR!?!

Fun fact about me, math has always been my nemesis. I have vivid memories of myself crying in class during math exams and trying to keep down my sniffling so none of my classmates would hear me.

Well once again math has failed me or wait did I fail math? I kid, I actually summer school.

This past Saturday was my heavy (for me) lift day for squats and deadlifts. I have come to the realization that lifting 215 for more than a one rep max, is not happening right now...but I started to wonder "hmm maybe I can lift even heavier". I added two more plates to my bar and attempted 225

That sucker was heavy but I did it! I sat down and looked at the bar and then it hit me; I placed TWO more plate for a total of 20 pounds! But of course I was doubting my math skills...actually I don't think anyone should be allowed to do math at 5 am. Anyways, I whipped out my calculator (opened the app on my phone) and added each single plate and yup, I lifted 235 an not 225! Woohoo to a new PR! You know what is funny? If you would have told me to lift 235 prior to this, I would have said "NO WAY" but because I didn't know how heavy the bar actually was, I wasn't that intimidated by it. So maybe sucking at math isn't such a bad thing and maybe we should try the things scare us.

Check out my vlog to watch me hit my new PR and also FDOE

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